I thought they starred because I looked different, to tall, to gangly.I have long dark blond hair, green-gray eyes, a fair skin and breasts that I wish were bigger. They sit very high on my chest and men often stare at them so I guess they must be OK. My legs are too long, I heard my guardian describe them as 'coltish' to a friend - which I did not like! But I do like the feeling of my legs as I run free in the wilderness or slide through the cool water of my secret swimming hole.At one stage I thought I had been punished by the gods for my sensual pleasures. It took me months to realize it was a gift not a curse. I had been playing alone in the woods again, clambering up a tree when I slipped on wet moss and fell onto a steep bank. The sudden searing pain between my legs and then all the red blood that would not stop running out terrified me far more than the fall! The bruises, cuts and scrapes I did not feel in my fear that the pain 'down there' would never heal, that it was. It was awkward around him, I did whatever I could do to avoid being alone with the teenager. I became a distant parent, doing my duty and nothing else.When Jake was fifteen, I started to notice how my eldest daughter Janet, fourteen at the time, was looking at him with something bordering on idol worship. Had I looked at George in that way later in our relationship? Had Jake been at his sister Janet turning her into some sexual toy to be used at his whim?I did not delve too deep, scared of what I may find, but the thought continued to terrify me; even to this day.What would I do if it were true?Janet took another bite of her apple and strode into the adjoining room where her father sat watching the news.I was being silly right? Jake probably just had a paper from school that had to be signed or something. I wiped my hands dry on the dish towel and strode up the stairs to the door of my son's room.Just as I raised my hand to knock another wave of fear rushed through my body and I had.
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